The Apprentice Week Three Review: Robots

The Apprentice Week Three Review: Robots

19 October 2017

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Photo Credit: BBC / Jim Marks

After two weeks of the boys failing miserably, it was time to mix up the teams on The Apprentice. Lord Sugar decided that – since Michaela had four brothers – she was the best equipped to deal with the unruly bunch of lads who couldn’t quite seem to grasp the concepts of selling and profit margins. This week, the teams were tasked with selling robots to big department stores and smaller toy shops. My only hope was that the artificial intelligence on offer would rub off on the candidates …

Jade headed up Team Graphene whilst Michaela decided that her presence in the boys’ team was enough to make her project manager. She’s clearly a woman who thinks that calling everyone “babes” is the way to establish a successful business relationship. Her painted on eyebrows were definitely way more terrifying than the prospect of a robot takeover.

The teams grappled to get to grips with their products, programming in various traits in order to appeal to their intended markets (Team Graphene were targeting children whilst Team Vitality aimed their robot at the over 60s). I actually think that the boys and Michaela had the right idea – the sales of Amazon’s Alexa to the silver pound only serve to confirm this – they just went about it the wrong way. Surprise, surprise.

Whilst the girls were busy cat-fighting throughout their pitches, the boys had bigger problems. Initially, they had decided to give their bot a human name – Jeffrii – so that it would make the owners feel like they were chatting with a person. They duly programmed their artificial companion to introduce himself accordingly. The problem was, Michaela decided that Siimon was a better name (I have no idea what all those double-i’s were about) and put together their marketing board as such.

So, not only did the marketing board have a different name to the product, it also had a font you could barely read against the background and was littered with grammatical errors. As the great Ross Geller once said: “Y-o-u apostrophe r-e means you are, Y-o-u-r means your!”

What’s become incredibly clear over the past couple of weeks is that Siobhan and Elizabeth definitely do not get along. So, why the girls don’t endeavour to split them up into different groups is beyond me. As usual, they argued and clashed – resulting in some fairly embarrassing pitching. When sub-team leader, Sarah, attempted to step in, Siobhan met her with a rather infantile “My business is better than your business” type of verbal assault. Sort it out, ladies – it’s already hard enough for businesswomen to get taken seriously, especially in the tech world.

Then again, it wouldn’t be reality TV if everyone got along. Lord Sugar was less than impressed with the boys’ performance and – rather cringeworthily – declared himself to be The Terminator and fired poor, bumbling Elliot, who’d spent more time worrying about how much time they had left to complete tasks rather than contributing to them.

Next week, the teams are set to be mixed up further as they attempt to plan a VIP event at Wembley. I do hope their guests aren’t expecting too much …

The Apprentice is on BBC1 on Wednesdays at 9pm.


Written By Mary Palmer


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