The Apprentice Week Eight Review: Dogs

The Apprentice Week Eight Review: Dogs

23 November 2017

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Photo Credit: Jim Marks / BBC 

I can hardly believe that we are eight weeks into televisions’ biggest recruitment process and we’re yet to witness any modicum of business acumen. The boys seem content to get themselves fired every week and the girls are too busy squabbling to get on with any real work. Last night, the teams were tasked with creating a doggy day care facility, as well as winning contracts for other canine-related work.

Up until now, Harry Potter lookalike Charles has remained relatively mute in the process, so it was a surprise to see that he volunteered to project managed Team Vitality. James put himself forward to lead Team Graphene once again – despite taking them all the way to the boardroom last week.

Both teams had to bid for either a doggy spa experience or a training camp. Team Graphene’s sub-team – consisting of former foes Joanna and Elizabeth – lost out on the spa as the owner correctly noted that Joanna was distinctly uncomfortable around the excitable pups. They would have to settle for running the boot camp.

Team Vitality’s sub-team (Andrew, Sarah Jayne and Anisa) managed to win the contract for scooping up poop at a contract estate by promising to clean all 100 hectares for the ludicrously low price of £120. They lost out on a dog photography contract, however, by arguing with each other (in front of the customer) about the price.

Despite promising to take the lead (I’m sorry, I’m still reeling from the amazing dog puns throughout last night’s episode), Charles sat back and let his colleagues, Michaela and Jade, do all the work at the dog spa. He’s clearly not one for getting his hands dirty … Literally. Anisa also proved herself to be less than useless, being unable to either scoop up poop or take a photograph without collapsing into a fit of giggles.

The real surprise of the episode, however, was Elizabeth and Joanna’s impressive team work. They were open and honest with their customers over a pricing mishap and, it was this show of genuineness that secured them plenty of upselling at their doggy boot camp. Having proved in Bruges that she is a no-nonsense headmistress type of character, Elizabeth actually proved a hit with all the canine contestants.

Back in the boardroom, the puns continued as the contestants were told it was time to face the top dog himself, Lord Sugar. He seemed particularly grouchy this week, so I predicted a double firing. Charles and his team lost by over £400, having gravely underpriced their services and failing to upsell their spa experience.

He brought Anisa and Andy back into the boardroom with him, on the grounds that her giggling and his swearing brought a sense of unprofessionalism to the team. Lord Sugar felt that all three had had several warnings and had failed to improve their behaviour. Clearly suffering from itchy trigger finger, he fired all three candidates from the process.

Next week, the candidates are tasked with creating tasty ready meals. Sounds like a recipe for disaster …

The Apprentice is on BBC1 on Wednesdays at 9pm.



Written By Mary Palmer


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